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Long time, no see?

A year is a long time.  The last year of my life has changed me.  If I think about it these last 12 months have been, well, they've definitely been.  I've planned a wedding, gotten married, moved out, moved in, graduated college, remade some friends, made some new friends, had my very first sex toy party, moved away, laughed til I cried, cried til I laughed and everything in between.  The Army has moved us to Augusta, GA...Fort Gordon...Home of the Signal Corps.  A state where I don't know a single soul.  The Army is also taking my husband of 7 months to Iraq in January.  To top it all, the Army has made me scared shitless of becoming a widow.  I'm so panicked that I don't sleep at night, and if I do sleep its painful and sad.  I knew it was inevitable, my husband is a soldier.  He likes being a soldier.  I like that he likes being a soldier.  To many individuals are unhappy with their careers...how can I be upset that my husband enjoys his job?  But this is war, and its his job.  I was never really afraid until the day I knew that Nathan died.  And even that is a tenous connection at best.  We went to sixth grade together.  Thats it.  Just one year of junior high.  But I KNEW him.  He got a pencil stuck in my hair that had to be cut out, and gave me a mini-mohawk for a year afterward.  Nathan of the brown hair and brown eyes.  He got his Eagle Scout, married his college sweetheart, had a little boy, and was blown up by a roadside bomb in Febuary 2008.  He's buried 28 spots from my grandmother.  My husband and I have to make out a will.  A "just in case".  Excuse me Mr. Uncle Sam but fuck your "just in case".  I haven't been married a goddamn year yet...I want the next 50 years of my life with this man.  He is my other half.  My complimentary angle.  Even when I want to strangle him I know that I cannot live without him.  I know life it is not guaranteed.  I don't know how to cope...I don't know how to still get up everyday...I just don't know.  12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days.  Thats how long I will be waiting.  To afraid to breathe but to damn stubborn to ask for help.  And he won't ever know.  I can't tell him.  He'll have enough to worry about...coming home safe to me. 

Just a little update.

Well, I'm still having a wedding, 7 weeks from tomorrow I'll be a married woman.  :-)  I've have to do some job hunting lately, and came up with a score.  I start on Wednesday as a paralegal for a Bankruptcy attorney in Frederick.  I'm pretty excited.  It was really difficult to find a job though.  With the wedding coming up I need like 2 and a halfish weeks off of work to like get married and stuff.  This place was totally cool about it, and actually was impressed that I mentioned it up front rather than wait it out til after I got hired.  

However though, right now I am less than thrilled with the United States Army.  As everyone is aware Mike got order last month to Korea, hence the reason for the wedding move up.  Well.  About a week ago, they rescinded his order and he will be staying on Ft. Detrick until further notice.   Yeah, there was an angry me.  So now we have to move into a house.  Which is fine, accept we have NO furniture.  One of his NCO's referred us to www.themilitaryclub.com.  This is an amazing website and program.  

As much as I'm happy that my hunny isn't leaving me, I could kill the Army for doing this to me. 

Wedding Update!

I'm still a little ways off of the two month mark.  But I though I would do a post to show what progress has been made.  The wedding date move from Aug 31 to April 5th was and continues to be a little stressful.  But whats a little stress...lol.  

We went to the MD bridal expo today and signed our DJ.  lol.  Its a bunch of guys I went to high school with that I randomly ran into there.  We are considering hiring a wedding planner to take care of the linens and the ceremony/reception decorations.  But I doubt we will.  We seem to have everything under control somehow.  Still contemplating whether or not we are going to bake my wedding cake cupcakes ourselves or find a cakebaker that does them.  I do however feel as though I have more of a handle on things finally.  :-)
I'm so mad at the Army right now.  I know it's useless to be mad at a inanimate entity like that but I don't have anyone else to blame.  Because the stupid Army is sending Mike to stupid Korea my whole world is crashing.  I found out tonight that my cousin and best friend can no longer stand as one of the groomsmen because of the date change.  I don't have any brothers or sisters, so Tom is the closest thing I have to a brother and now he can't be here.  If he even gets to come to my wedding he'll literally have to come to the wedding and then head right back out to North Carolina.  See now I can be mad at Mike's parents again because if it was the 12th of April like I had wanted it Tommy could come.  I know in the large scheme of things it is more important for the grooms parents not the brides cousin to be at the wedding.  But we promised each other that we would stand for each other at our weddings...And now that can't happen.  And I don't get a do-over.  This sucks.   

i can't take it...

Tuesday Mike found out that he is getting orders to Korea.  He'll leave in May.  So there went all of our plans.  We moved the wedding up 4 months so we can get married before he leaves, and maybe have a shot in hell of being able to be together in Korea.  We set our date for April 12th.  When his mom and sister found out they suggested 1] go to the courthouse, or 2] wait til he gets back.  His sister is due May 7, and won't be able to come on the 12th.  So they want us to wait a year so Amelia can come.  Then today his mom called again.  His dad has some work thing on that Friday.  They aren't coming.  Again the courthouse was suggested.  I don't know what to do.  I'm so crushed I can't even think.  All I want is a pretty wedding.  And I feel like a monster for wanting it.  Mike asked if we could have it in GA.  Then my whole family has to travel to GA, plus my friends, and neighbors.  The majority wouldn't come, and then it wouldn't be my wedding.  I want my wedding in my town, my place.  That makes me horrible, because then the person I love the most in this world doesn't get his family on his wedding day.  This is supposed to be the happiest time in our lives, and I do nothing but cry.  I'm mad at the Army, and his parents, and I'm just mad.   

Updation Proclamation

Well, an update to the progress of my life.  I left my position at UHCMA.  It was a throughly depressing job and I am so glad that I don't work there anymore.  I miss tons of the people that I got to know while working there, but unfortunately the people alone weren't enough to keep my at a job where I felt like a monster.  I have a new position working for a home/life insurance company as an admin.  It's closer to what my degree is in, and I love it.  The only downside is that there is this one woman there that treats me as though I'm incompetent.  She is forever hovering over my shoulder to make sure that I am doing my job to her standards, then muttering that she never gets anything done.  Well, I'm never going to learn if you continually do my job for me.  Yeesh.

The wedding planning in continuing.  I have bought my dress, shoes, veil, and tiara.  Very exciting stuff...pictures will be posted below.  So far we have: dress stuff, reception site, photographer, and cake all figured out and deposited or bought.  I know that there is still a lot to do.  And I'm so overwhelmed with it.  I've decided to make the invitations myself.  I found this super cute wedding stationery at Target.  I'm still researching flowers and favors and such.  Any ideas?  lol. 

Also, Mike and I are going out today to rent a storage unit and to being to look for furniture. I have been researching all over the internet to find good furniture at a decent price. The three places I have come up with so far are: Big Lots, Wal-mart, and Target.  Any other suggestions or experience with any of these places?

Well, thats all for this Saturday morning.  I'm gonna go crawl back into bed with my fiance.  :-)


 I'm a planner, I always have been.  Mike is coming up on orders very shortly, and so for most of the 8 months prior to our wedding he will be living somewhere else.  He won't be coming back to where I am until probably 2 or 3 days before the wedding because he wants to have the majority of his leave after the wedding.  My question is, is there anywhere that I could find a checklist of what a new army wife would have to do before she joins her husband at his current duty station?  And of those things is there anything that I can do prior to the wedding?  Like can he request a movers appoint before we are actually married, or does that have to wait until we are actually wed.  Do I have to get my military ID at his duty station or can we go to the closest military base to get it?  I'm WAYYYYY OCD and I'm aware of that.  lol.  I'm just nervous about doing all of this by myself, and if I focus on this I won't freak to much about the wedding itself right now.  Ha.  My mom told me that there is already a lot to do after a marriage, and I'm sure that being a military spouse just adds to things!  

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